International Asexuality Day, April 6
Asexuality is one of the most misunderstood identities in the LGBTQIA2S+ community, mostly because it’s often treated like it is invisible. For a lot of ace people, that invisibility can feel like constantly having to explain yourself, or being told you’re just going through a phase, or being left out of conversations about what it means to belong.
International Asexuality Day, observed every year on April 6, exists to change that. It’s a reminder that ace identities are real, valid, and worth celebrating, not just once a year, but all the time.
This is a simple guide, written for anyone who wants to understand asexuality with respect.
What does asexual mean?
Asexuality is a sexual orientation. In the simplest terms, it means a person experiences little to no sexual attraction to others, or experiences it rarely or in very specific circumstances.
One thing that helps to say clearly, asexuality is not the same thing as celibacy or abstinence. Celibacy and abstinence are choices about behavior. Asexuality is about attraction, it’s how someone is wired.
Also, being ace does not automatically mean someone does not want connection, love, or partnership. It just means sex is not a default experience of attraction the way society often assumes it is.
The ace spectrum, and why there are different labels
Asexuality is not a strict on or off switch. A lot of people experience it as a spectrum.
Some people identify as:
- Gray asexual, meaning attraction happens rarely, or it’s unclear, or it’s low intensity
- Demisexual, meaning sexual attraction can happen after a strong emotional bond is formed
- Aromantic, meaning someone experiences little to no romantic attraction, even if they do experience sexual attraction, or even if they don’t
And here’s an important point, romantic attraction and sexual attraction are not always the same thing. Researchers and communities often describe this using the split attraction model, which is just a way of saying someone’s romantic feelings and sexual attraction do not always line up in the way people assume they should.
So someone can be asexual and still deeply romantic, or they can be aromantic and still deeply connected through friendship, community, or partnership structures that do not fit the typical script.
Asexuality does not tell you what someone does in relationships
This is one of the biggest myths.
Asexuality describes attraction, not behavior.
Ace people have different relationships to sex itself. Some are sex averse or sex repulsed. Some are indifferent. Some are sex favorable, meaning they may choose sex for closeness, curiosity, or a partner’s needs, even if they don’t experience sexual attraction the way an allosexual person might.
That variety matters because it reminds us there is no single correct ace experience.
Why ace visibility matters
Asexuality is often called an invisible orientation, because it is frequently erased or treated like it is not real.
A lot of that comes from something called allonormativity, which is a fancy word for a simple idea: society assumes everyone experiences sexual attraction, and that sex is a required part of relationships and adulthood.
When that is the default assumption, ace people can be met with disbelief, pressure, or intrusive questions. They may be told they are broken, traumatized, repressed, or just haven’t met the right person yet.
Visibility matters because it replaces that message with a healthier one: you’re not broken, you’re not alone, and your way of being is valid.
A few common misconceptions, and what to say instead
Myth: Asexuality is just a phase.
Reality: Many people discover the word asexual because it finally matches how they’ve felt for a long time. Even if someone’s identity shifts over time, they still deserve respect in the present.
Myth: Ace people cannot fall in love.
Reality: Many ace people experience romantic attraction, and many build committed relationships. Others build deep, meaningful non romantic partnerships and chosen family.
Myth: The A in LGBTQIA stands for ally.
Reality: The A is commonly used to include asexual, aromantic, and agender identities. Ace identities belong here.
Myth: It’s okay to push someone to try it.
Reality: Pressuring anyone around sex is not supportive. Consent and boundaries matter, always.
Why International Asexuality Day exists, and what it stands for
International Asexuality Day was launched on April 6, 2021, and it’s grown into a global moment of visibility and connection.
It’s organized around four pillars:
- Advocacy, pushing for inclusion and rights
- Celebration, creating joy and pride in ace identity
- Education, correcting myths and misinformation
- Solidarity, building connection across the ace spectrum and the wider LGBTQIA2S+ community
Even if you never do anything formal for the day, the message is still powerful year round: ace people deserve to be seen and respected.
How to support ace people with respect
You don’t need perfect language to be supportive. What matters is how you show up.
Here are a few care centered ways to do that:
- Believe someone when they tell you who they are
- Avoid treating asexuality like something to fix
- Stop the right person jokes, even if they seem harmless
- Don’t ask intrusive questions about someone’s sex life
- Make room for ace voices in LGBTQIA2S+ spaces, conversations, and events
Support often looks quiet. It’s the steady choice to treat someone’s boundaries and identity as normal.
Where Pomona Valley Pride fits in
One of the reasons community matters so much is because identity is easier to hold when you’re not holding it alone.
Pomona Valley Pride exists to help create local spaces where people can connect, learn, and feel less isolated, including people whose identities are often overlooked. If you want a place to start, you can explore Programs and Resources, check Events, or reach out through the Contact page.
Belonging should never depend on being understood by everyone. It should depend on being respected.
