Being an ally isn’t a title, it’s a practice. It’s the quiet decision to show up for the people you care about, even when the moment is unfamiliar or uncomfortable. It’s choosing compassion over assumptions, and listening instead of trying to lead the conversation.
For LGBTQIA2S+ friends and family, having even one supportive person can change the entire shape of their day, their mental health, and their sense of safety. And the good news is that allyship isn’t about being perfect, it’s about being present.
At Pomona Valley Pride, we see the impact of good allies every day. Parents who take the time to learn. Friends who hold space. Co-workers who create safer workplaces. These actions ripple outward, strengthening our whole community.
If you’re looking for ways to support someone in your life, here’s where to begin.
1. Listen More Than You Speak
Sometimes the most meaningful thing you can offer is space, space for someone to share what they’re going through without fear of judgment or interruption.
Listening looks like:
- Letting people describe their identity in their own words
- Responding with curiosity instead of assumptions
- Avoiding the urge to “fix” things
- Saying things like, “Thank you for trusting me with this”
When someone feels heard, they also feel valued. And that’s the foundation of every healthy, supportive relationship.
2. Use the Name and Pronouns Someone Shares with You
Names and pronouns aren’t small details. They’re deeply personal expressions of identity. Using them correctly tells someone, “I see you. I respect you.”
If you’re unsure, you can gently ask “What pronouns do you use?” or “How would you like me to refer to you?”
And if you make a mistake (which happens), just correct yourself and move forward. A simple, “Sorry, they,” goes a long way.
It’s not about perfection. It’s about willingness.
3. Challenge Harmful Language When You Hear It
Most change starts in the small, everyday moments, a joke at work, a comment at a family gathering, a stereotype that slips into conversation.
You can interrupt harm by saying things like:
- “Let’s not use that word.”
- “That doesn’t feel respectful.”
- “We don’t talk about people like that here.”
It might feel uncomfortable at first, but standing up in these moments helps someone else feel safer in spaces they can’t always walk away from.
4. Support LGBTQIA2S+ Youth with Extra Care
Young people are often navigating identity while also dealing with school pressure, family dynamics, and social expectations. Having an affirming adult, even one, can be life-changing.
Here’s how to show up for them:
- Believe them when they share who they are
- Avoid pressuring them to “figure things out” faster
- Celebrate their name, pronouns, and expression
- Give them room to explore safely and without judgment
If a young person in your life comes to you, it’s because they trust you. That trust is a gift, one you can honor by listening with love.
5. Learn Without Expecting LGBTQIA2S+ People to Educate You
It’s okay to not understand everything immediately. Sexual orientation and gender identity can be complex, but the responsibility to learn shouldn’t fall solely on LGBTQIA2S+ people.
You can take initiative by:
- Reading reputable resources
- Attending workshops
- Following LGBTQIA2S+ creators and educators
- Asking respectful questions when invited
Seeking out information shows that you care enough to do your part.
6. Create Inclusive Workplaces, Classrooms, and Homes
Allyship comes alive in the environments we shape. You can help create spaces that feel safer and more welcoming:
- Display inclusive signage or symbols
- Encourage diverse representation in leadership and materials
- Offer gender-neutral restrooms
- Practice inclusive language in meetings
- Address bias in policies and daily interactions
When people can be themselves, they can thrive, and inclusive spaces benefit everyone, not just LGBTQIA2S+ people.
7. Show Up for Community and Local Support
You don’t have to do everything. But doing something makes a real difference.
Easy ways to show up include:
- Attending Pomona Valley Pride events
- Sharing local resources with someone who needs support
- Volunteering a few hours a month
- Donating to year-round programs
- Following and uplifting community messages
Allyship becomes community care when we put it into action.
8. Remember: Allyship Is Ongoing, Not One and Done
Being an ally is a daily choice, to listen, to learn, to care, to show up. There will be moments when you get it right, and moments when you fumble, but what matters is staying committed.
Every small act of support builds toward something bigger: a world where LGBTQIA2S+ people feel safe, valued, and celebrated in every season of life.
Pride Begins with How We Treat Each Other
Allyship isn’t loud. Most of the time, it’s gentle, steady, and rooted in compassion. It’s the parent who tries their best. The friend who speaks up. The co-worker who makes the office safer. And it’s the belief that everyone deserves to live authentically and without fear. If you’re ready to take the next step, we’re here to walk with you.
Connect with Pomona Valley Pride. Attend an event, explore local resources, or subscribe for updates and community news. You never know whose life your support might change, including your own.
